Funny SMS Collection 33

What Is

Pure And Simple

Definition Of

ACCOUNTING … ?

1 + 1 = 2

(In Private Sector)

1 + 1 = 11

(In Government Sector)

***

When I dont do it on time

"I am lazy"

but when my boss doesnt do it on time

"He is busy"

"POSITION MAKES THE DIFFERENCE"

***

IIT exam,

Santa got 1 question.

Prove

Sin x = 6n

Santa cancelled ‘n’ from both the sides.

Then

six=6

***

Please Send ur Bio-Data to VODAFONE,

U’ll get Job+Chance to come on TV.

So Apply Soon,

Bcoz Vodafone Dog has dead,

Now Vodafone need MONKEY!!

***

Best joke from Signboard on electric Boxes-

“Danger, 10000 volts, TOUCHING dis will lead to DEATH..

Any1 found Touching will b jailed for 3 yrs.”

Ha ha..

***

Height of Addiction:

Just b4 a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!

He said- I want to update MyOrkut status as DIED ..!!

***

Cool SMS Collection 18

On the Chessboard of LIFE,

All MOVES are Possible..

It’s Never Checkmate till U LIVE.

So Never QUIT, There is Always Possibility to WIN..!!

***

You have only two options in life

1-Accept

2-Change

Accept what u

can’t change.

or

Change what u

can’t accept..!!

***

Best Relations r like beautiful street lamps..

They may not make the distance shorter but they light ur path & make the journey easier.

***

It is wonderful to get the answer of prayers..

But it is even more wonderful when God converts you,

into an answer of somebody’s prayers

***

When I was SMALL I Laughed LESS but there was infinite hidden JOY!

As I GREW up I Learn to laugh a LOT to Hide the unspoken SADNESS…

That’s life!

***

SMS does not only mean..

S-short

M- messages

S- service

It also mean

S-some

M-moment

S-shared with u.

***

Funny SMS Collection 32

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ?

Pupil: Hot water !

***

Best error message of the century

An error shown by a computer:

"No keyboard found.

Press any key to continue...."

***

Do you feel lazy to get up early in the morning?

Does a book work as a sleeping pill?

Attending classes only for attendance?

Seeing the calendar only for holidays?

Cell in place of calculator?

If the above is happening with you then, Congratulations! You are a normal STUDENT!

***

One Electric wire falls in love with another Electric wire.... What will you call this kind of love

Think.. Think..

That's what I call 'CURRENT AFFAIR'

***

"Try To Keep That Person Happy Always,

Whom You See Everyday In The Mirror.."

***

Girl: Y Do U Always

Follow Me Around ? ?

Boy: Well , Because

When I Was A Kid ,

My Mom Told Me To

Follow My Dreams ...

***

Funny SMS Collection 31

Once upon a time there lived Ali-BaBa & 40 thieves.

But now there are only 20 thieves...

Why?

Recession!!!

Job cuts throughout the World!

***

Close your eyes I have a gift for you

1

2

3

Oh u didn't close your eyes!!!!!

***

When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!!

***

Funy sayngs:

1.Ur future depends on ur dreams(So go 2 sleep)

2.Hardwork never kills any1(but y 2 take risk)

3.Alcohol kills slowly(So wat,Who is in a hurry!)

***

One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile

His call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on

Talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.

What MORAL do u get???

..

..

..

..

An IDEA can change your wife.

***

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when

He was offered tea?

Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

***

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?

Ready....Steady.....PO

***

Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi.

Kumble

brings a bottle, but takes it directly to

Tendulkar.

Why?

Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

***

Funny SMS Collection 30

Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find

bottles of chilled red wine...

happily they drink and left

next day headline

~ Breaking News ~

"Blood Bank Robbed"

***

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,

But I can’t send you all of them,

It will take a lot of time,

So I’m sending you just 1 joke

.

.

.

“You are so beautiful”

***

If You Dont Want To Get My Message Any More,

Just Do One Simple Thing

.

.

.

.

.

Switch OFF Your Phone.

***

The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

why doesn’t it rain on you?

***

If u r stressed, you'll get pimples..

if u cry,u'll get wrinkles..

So, y don't u smile & get dimples?

***

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?

Clerk: Yes.

Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?

2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

***

Funny SMS Collection 29

If u don''''t mind

If u don''''t feel bad

If don''''t hesitate

Please......

give me a

K

ki

kis

kiss

kiss......

kissan jam bottle just RS.22.50 only.

***

Best punishment to a boy:

Give him a mobile phone, with lots of balance and girls phone numbers and leave him at a place where there is no network.

***

Wife:-I will die.

Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?

Husband:- because I can't bear that much happiness

***

Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said-We want 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.

***

When are you going to marry me?

I can live without you. I love you dear,

marry me within this month otherwise i will die.

See, how Asin messaged me! Silly girl.

***

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU

***

Funny SMS Collection 28

English man: "My grand father lived 96 years, he never used glasses..."

Pathan: I know .. some people drink directly from bottle !!

***

Teacher : four beautiful ladies are walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence .

Student : WOW !

***

Sometimes, my mind asks. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Monkeys need more care! Hehehe. Now, you're smiling!

***

devil met me & they wanted to kill

the world''s intelligent person.

i gave them your address.

see.

How I fooled them & saved my Life.

***

Beautiful flowers die….

Nice stories end……

Lovely songs fade…….. ..

Momeries are forgotten…

All things comes to end…..

But people like YOU always remain forever

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

BECAUSE GHOSTS NEVER DIE

***

Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!

***

Funny SMS Collection 27

GIRL before marriage looks like Brbie doll,

After merriage Beautiful doll,

after one year Nice doll,

after two years only doll,

after three years

PANADOL

***

A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I-------------------------------------------------------------------U,V,W,X,Y,Z.

WHAT R U LOOKING FOR?

I KILLED ALL THOSE WHO WERE BETWEEN I & U

***

A Man Walking Down A Street Heard A Voice

If U Take 1 More Step

A Brick Will Fall Down & Kill U

He Stopped & A Brick Fell Before Him

He Went On While Crossing Road He Heard Again Stop Just A Car Missed Him

Man Asked

WHO R U

I M Ur Guardian Angel

Man Said

Where Were U When I Was Getting Married

***

Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,

u give me bouquet

when i ask u a stone

u give me a statue

when i ask u a feather

u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

***

Little bird in the sky,

dropping charak in your eye,

you don't complain,

you don't cry,

just thank to god,

that cows cant fly.

***

Banta owned a factory.

He issued orders that only married

men would be employed.

Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:

Because married men are more obedient.

***

Funny SMS Collection 26

After an emotinal hug,

Girl whispers to Boy:

If u hug me once more like that,

i will be yours forever.

Boy: THANKS FOR THE WARNING!

***

when i call u;

1 ring means i’m thinking of u;

2 ring means i like u;

3 means i miss u;

4 means ………..pick d phone idiot

***

Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....

OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!

***

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.

Sardar : Bad.

Interviewer : Come.

Sardar : Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.

Sardar : Pichlli.

Interviewer : U G L Y?

Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer : Shut Up.

Sardar : Keep Talking.

Interviewer : Get Out.

Sardar : Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.

Sardar : Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : U r Rejected.

Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE

***

Please Pass This SmS To All Ur Friends.

A Person With Blood Group A+ve

Contact # 03334209211

Urgently Needs 2 Bottles

.

.

.

Of MARINDA With 1 Large Pizza

Thanks!

***

Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!

***

LOVE is like a CIGAR

It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke……and ends in ashes…

But dont worry – we are chain smokers

***

Funny SMS Collection 25

Another MOON ? ……….Possible

Another SUN ? …………..Possible

Another SKY ? …………….Possible

Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible

‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice

***

Best quote for this generation

“Oh God, pls grant me patience but, please hurry up”

***

What is similarity between Bill Gates and me?

Don’t know?

He never comes to my house

and I never go to his house

EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW

***

U R the one who is CHARMING

U R the one who is INTELLIGENT

U R the one who is CUTE

And

I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS

***

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in the world?

Banta: "ZEEBRA"

Teacher: shocked, how?

Banta: Because its still "BLACK and WHITE".

***

Munna Bhai: If a dog

without teeth bites you,

what should you do.?.

Circuit: Simple bhai,

take injection without

the needle.!.

***

A-I’ve a Perfect Son.

B-Does he Smoke.?

A-No

B-Does he Come Home Late.?

A-No. NO.

B-Wow.! You actually have

a Perfect Son,

How Old is he.?

A- 6 Months old.!

***

Funny SMS Collection 24

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college, You know why?

Because he wanted to check from where the question paper was leaking!

***

Heights of Fashion

A 3 month old babby boy goes 2 a Huggies outlet center asking....

Guess?

.

.

.

I want a "Low waist Nappy" do you have it?

***

The best environmental day slogan

"Save Earth, this is the only planet with girls!"

***

Our brilliant Banta does it again

Teacher: Which is ur favorite DISH?

.

.

.

.

.

Banta: TATA SKY!

***

What is Talent and what is Intelligence ?

Walking on a tight r0pe over Niagra Falls is Talent.

Not Trying such a thing is called Intelligence!

****

Attitude during Exams!

They had given the questions which I dont know... So I wrote the answers which they don't know :)

***

Funny SMS Collection 23

A sweet demand by kid.

A kid was beaten up by his mom..Dad came n askd "what happnd son?"

Kid said "I can't adjust with ur wife anymore, I want my own!"

****

Newtons New law:

Every book tends to be in state of rest or state of dust unless and until the internal or external exam comes.

***

Boy 2 a gal b4 Exams:

Hey..al d best.

Girl also told d same

Butt gal scored 80 marks & Boy failed.

Moral: Only Boys wish wid tru heart...

***

Wife: I think our daughter is in love with someone.

Husband: How do u know?

Wife: coz she is not asking for pocket money these days.

***

We realize that the value of life increases only after it is lost..

.

.

.

.

Example

Alive chicken Rs.60

Chicken tandoori Rs.180/-!!

***

Genius is a person who completes work in 1 day for which a fool takes 200 days.

Just like we complete syllabus in a day & a lecturer takes 1 year!

***

When u have done something wrong & u r in trouble.... go to ur parents for sound advice.

You'll get.... 99% sound and 1% advice!

***

Friendship SMS Collection 15

Do u know the relation between 2 eyes?

They think 2gether

Move 2gether

cry 2gether

see 2gether

& sleep 2gether

but they never judge or see each other.

Friendship should b just like that. Life is hell

without Friends...

***

7 is great number bcoz

7 colors makes Rainbow

7 swaram makes Music

7 days make a Week &

7 Letters makes Friends Like U...

***

Ur behaviour is Coffee bite...

Ur Mind is Munch...

Ur Smile is Eclairs....

U r totally cho sweet Friend....

***

Try this

1. go 2 write msgs

2. put on dictionary

3. cover d screen with hand

4. press 41647719681374363

5. gently remove ur hands

& see u feel for seconds...

***

Feeling is a Painting, Never spoil it.

Face is a book, Read it.

Love is Precious, Dont miss it.

Friendship is Mirror, Dont break it.

***

Life changes from

Class room to office

Books to files

Jeans to Formals

Pocket Money to salary

Girlfriend to Wife

But what never changes

thats "Friendship".

***

Funny SMS Collection 22

The devils challenged

the angels to a game of cricket.

We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels.

Devils:No problem,

we have got all the umpires.

***

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

Don’t be so confused, I love other alphabets too...

***

A mobile is like a girl - Talks non-stop, costs a fortune, disturbs when u r busy and when u need them urgently they have no service.

***

Most interesting line written

on the front of T-shirt of a girl,

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Excuse me !

My face is above.;-)

***

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend

“U r my Best Friend”

But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife

“U r my Best Wife?”

***

In a practical Exam

Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name

Sardar:I dont know

Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?

Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

***

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…

still he was in jail…….why?

coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

***

Funny SMS Collection 21

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... .

Open ur eyes !

Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a

fool........ ....

***

I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......

it got washed away,

I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........

it got blown away,

So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......

i got a HEART ATTACK

***

LOVE is like a CIGAR

It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in

ashes...

But dont worry - we are chain smokers

***

ur smile can be compared to a flower

ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo

ur inocence to a child

but in stupidity

u have no comparison

u r the best

***

when i ask u flower,

u give me bouquet

when i ask u a stone

u give me a statue

when i ask u a feather

u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

***

when i call u;

1 ring means i'm thinking of u;

2 ring means i like u;

3 means i miss u;

4 means ........pick d phone idiot

***

Friendship SMS Collection 14

Get up Get up

God is waiting 4 u...

2 give a gift of

24 Golden hours.

Whatever u want do it successfully

My dear Friend...

***

Heart receives "Feeling"

Mind receives "Wisdom"

Hands receives "Gifts"

& Only spl people like u

receives my SMS...

***

Love is like a call if u don't recieve, it will be missed.

FRIENDSHIP is like an sms until u open it waits!

***

Every friend can say

“I Can understand ur Felings”

but a True frnd wil always say

“I Can feel Ur Feeling”

Thats the true Love of Friend.

***

Friendship is

Not "History" 2 forget

Not "Maths" 2 calculate

Not "Language" 2 translate

Its only d chemistry

that "Reacts" between Hearts...

***

The First bench knows how 2 avoid problems...

but the last bench only knows how to face the problems...

***

Cool SMS Collection 17

If,

1=5

2=25

3=125

4=625

5= ?

think be4 scrolling down

ans: 1!

see the first line.

***

Give ur absence 2 ur loved ones 2 make them miss u so much.

But dont make it as a habit.

Bcoz they will learn 2 live without u...

***

Successful businesses are the result of Courageous decisions....

***

"I always feel happy" U know why???

Bcoz "I dont expect anything from anyone"!

Expectations always Hurt...

***

Famous Love Quote:

Guy:Dear y u always hurt & break my heart...

Girl:I always use 2 break ur heart

2 just replace my heart there...

***

Child 2 salesgirl in a sweet shop:

Child: Wil u marry me when i grow up

Girl smiled & said : Yes

Child : Can u give ur future husband a free chocolate...

***

Funny SMS Collection 20

Johny Johny

Yes pa...pa...

Ther is no msg Y pa...pa...?

Remove ur simcard

Quick pa..pa...

Put ur cell in dust pin pa...!

Clap ur hands

Aha..ha..ha....

***

My hands never pain,

When typing msg 4 u...

Bcoz

I always send Fwd msg 2 u...

***

Top 5 highly disappointment situations:

1. best friend talking with ur figure

2. 10 mark bit asked in 2 mark

3. HOD sitting near u on tour.

4. super figure crossing u when u r with ur parents.

5. teachers distributing ur test paper infront of ur junior girls.

***

Girl praying: Please God let me love an intelligent man

God: Sorry my child,Thats impossible.

Intelligent man never love any girl...

***

A teacher told all students in a class 2 write essay about Cricket Match.

All r busy except 1 kid...

He wrote "Due 2 rain Match Stopped"

Think Different...

***

I was travelling in d bus

Suddenly driver put break.

I fall on a girl & kissed her.

Girl: What r u doing?

Me: I'm working in WIPRO.You?

***

Rose & U look d same

Rose & U r 2 beautiful

Rose & U look like twins

Rose & U r so cute

Dont imagine Flower Rose

U r look like Vijay tv Rose...

***

Friendship SMS Collection 13

All d people in d world says that

Friendship is greater than Love

But nobody knows that Friendship means

"LOVING SOMEONE"...

***

Interesting fact about Feb 2010:

4 Monday

4 tuesady

4 wednesday

4 thursday

4 Friday

4 Saturda

4 Sunday

It happens once in 11 years.

Fwd this sms & be the 1st person 2 inform ur Friends...

***

I requsted God...

Let my friends be Happy & Healthy Forever.

God said 4 days only...

I said ok.

Spring, summer, autumn & winter day.

He said "no only 3 days"

I said ok

Yesterday,2day & 2morrow.

He said "no only 2 days"

I said ok

Brightday & Nightday.

He said "no only 1 days"

I said ok "Everyday"

God laughed & said "OK"

***

I lov u... but

I am not ur Lover.

I care u... but

I am not ur Mother

I Strict u...but

I am not ur Father.

I help u... but

I am not ur brother

I ready to share ur pain... but

I am not ur blood relation

I will do all this 2 u Bcoz

I am ur best Friend...

***

Gud song:

5 mins Happy

Gud flim:

3 hrs Happy

Gud collage:

3 years Happy

But

Best Friend Life Long Happy...

***

Expected is an Incident,

Unexpected is an accident.

U r an accident in my Life

But it is one of the best incidents in my Life...

***

When u r alone, rmbr me

I am waiting 4 u.

When u cant smile,

Trust me i can mak u laugh

But when u r in Crowd of friends,

Rmbr i am alone...

***

Cool SMS Collection 15

Fix ur target,

Find d best route

Go fast

Dont allow others in ur path

chase othrs

If u do these things u will bcom d best

AUTO DRIVER in d city.Pee Pee....

***

Hearty welcome 2 Cool Morning

Happy Welcome 2 Fresh Morning

Great Welcome 2 New Morning

Lovely Welcome 2 Nice Morning

I Wish u Good Morning

***

Friendship means:

U happy, I happy

U sad, I sad

U cry, I cry

U laugh,I laugh

U fall down in muddy water

I will dance...

('.')>

<\"\

_/"\_ Dinchak

<('.')

/"/>

_/"\_ Dinchak

('.')>

<\"\

_/"\_ Dinchak

<('.')

/"/>

_/"\_ Dinchak

***

Flowerful Morning

Colorful noon

Joyful Evening

Peaceful Night

Be Happy

It going 2 be aWonderful day 4 u

Gud Morning...

***

Friendship n Friends...

Its a package of feeling.

Nobody can delete it, nobody can explain it.

Only we can feel it.

Its a specila gift 2 us.

***

The difference betweenAbility and Character is,

-Ability will get us to the Top…..

But,Character will allow us to stay at the Top..

***

Child: God! please don’t want 3rd world war.

God: I appreciate u my child!

Child: No God I’m weak in history. so, I can’t study 3rd World war…..

***

Sir: When i was studying 1st standard sir asked me “I have 4 apples, how can i divide it among 5 children’s”

Boy answered: “KILL ONE CHILD”..

***