Nice Jokes

A cop stops a drunkard and asks him: Where are you going?

Drunkard: I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drinking and alcoholism.

Cop: At night? And who will give a lecture?

Drunkard: My wife and mother-in-law!

***

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you.

***

A drunk was hauled into court.

"Mister", the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking...."

"Great," the drunk exclaimed. “When do we get started?”

***

Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.

Friend: Why?

Sardar: Got upper berth.

Friend: Why didn’t you exchange?

Sardar: Oye, there was nobody 2 exchange in the lower berth...

* * *

Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.

"I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang.

Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.

"But...what happened to your other ear?"

"The scoundrel called again."

***

What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

***

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.

Banta Singh : Ok

Interviewer : Made in India

Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up

Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Banta Singh : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat

Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!

Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in

Interviewer : I reject you!

Banta Singh : You appoint me

Interviewer : ....!!!!!!!