About Marriage..........

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

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When a man steals your wife,

there is no better revenge than

to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

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After marriage,

husband and wife become two sides of a coin;

they just can't face each other,

but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

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If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.

If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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Woman inspires us to great things,

and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

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I had some words with my wife,

and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.

A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

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"I don't worry about terrorism.

I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

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"There's a way of transferring funds

that is even faster than electronic banking.

It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

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"I've had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday

is to forget it once...

Anonymous

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You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband.......

when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

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Marriage is the only war

where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

"Wife wanted".

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

Anonymous

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."