Funny Message Collection: October 2010

Funny SMS Collection 31

Once upon a time there lived Ali-BaBa & 40 thieves.

But now there are only 20 thieves...

Why?

Recession!!!

Job cuts throughout the World!

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Close your eyes I have a gift for you

Oh u didn't close your eyes!!!!!

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When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!!

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Funy sayngs:

1.Ur future depends on ur dreams(So go 2 sleep)

2.Hardwork never kills any1(but y 2 take risk)

3.Alcohol kills slowly(So wat,Who is in a hurry!)

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One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile

His call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on

Talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.

What MORAL do u get???

An IDEA can change your wife.

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Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when

He was offered tea?

Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

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How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?

Ready....Steady.....PO

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Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi.

Kumble

brings a bottle, but takes it directly to

Tendulkar.

Why?

Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

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Funny Question & Answers 3

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.

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what is the opposite of venky's.. ?

venlocks...

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What is the Opposite of opposite?

Oppostand...

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What's the opposite of "Dominoes"

Think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

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Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?

Think

............

the answer is

They Both Are Not a Banana !!

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Question: In an elephant school, some loafer

elephants

were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female

elephant passes by. What do the loafer elephants

say

about her?

Ans: Look ya, 36000 - 24000 - 36000!!

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Short jokes for u 6

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, – “This is the WORST book I’ve ever read!” “It has NO plot and far too many characters!”

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks – “So, you’re the one who took our phone book…”

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The teacher asked Mary, “If you had seven cookies and David asked you for three, how many cookies would you have left?” Mary immediately answered, “Seven!”

The teacher was puzzled and asked “Why seven?”

“You really think I would give David any of my cookies?”

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Darling,” said the swooning man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?”

“Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she said. “But what will you live on?”

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A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"

God: "To me, it's about a minute."

The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God: "To me it's a penny."

The man: "God, may I have a penny?"

God: "Wait a minute."

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The First 3 Years of Marriage

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Short jokes for u 5

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”

The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”

The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”

The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?” The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

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An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.

A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.

Another month passes and he’s back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, “I think I know where I’m going wrong” he tells the dealer,

“I think I’m planting them too deep.”

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A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

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Short jokes for u 4

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

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Sam: Would you punish me for some thing I didn’t do?

Teacher: no, of course not.

Sam: good, because i didn’t do my book project.

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Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?

A: Light mouse work.

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Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then divided by 4, what would you get?

Student: The wrong answer.

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“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”