Teacher - I have 20 apples and I eat 17. What is left?
John - A big chance for diarrea.

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girl: look it's a ladybird!
mum: how do you know it’s a ladybird?
girl: it's wearing a dress!

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TEACHER: Has anyone ever seen the Catskill Mountains?
ED: No, but I've seen the Cats Kill Mice

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Have you ever heard of a flying pig?
No
Now you have!

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Q: What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
A: lunch and dinner

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Q: Why wasn't the moon so smart?
A: Because the sun was brighter!

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9 (7 ate 9)!

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