Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

US President: Wow! How many?

Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Kid: No, my mummy beats me.

Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?

Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?

Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Banta: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?

Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

Santa: Why are you heating the knife.

Banta: To do suicide.

Santa: But why are you heating it?

Banta: To prevent infection.

Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.

Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful ?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.