Santa - Banta jokes

Saanta :"What is the colour of the elephant?"

Friend : "How does it matter?"

Saanta : "It Matters"

Friend : "Blue"

Saanta :"I will shoot him with blue gun"

Friend : "If it was red?"

Saanta : "I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

Friend : "If it was yellow?"

Saanta :"I will make him angry he will turn red then I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

Friend : "If it was green?"

Saanta :"I will make him sick when he turns yellow then I will make him angry he will turn red then I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

Friend : "If he was purple?"

Saanta : "Stupid have you ever seen a purple elephant?"

***
Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

***

Lect: write a note on Gandhi jayanti..??
So..
santa writes "Gandhi was a great man but i dont know who is Jayanti..

***

who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

***

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!

***

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Short Jokes For u 2


First friend: "My barber is a specialist in road-map shaves."
Second friend: "How come?"
First friend: "When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts!"

***

A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni
He is my kid,
and…. she is my kidney.

***

A modern employer is one who is looking for men between the ages of 25 and 30 with 40 years of experience.

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"Do you drink?" the girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law."
"First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation" asked son-in-law.

***
Why do barbers make good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts!

***
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to getting their laundry done free.

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Santa checked his girlfriend’s mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed “TIMEPASS NO. 8”

***

Santa: That girl is deaf
Banta: How do you know?
Santa: I said I love her, she said her chapels are new

***

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

***

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Tamil Mokkai SMS Collection 29




Meen thanniela irundha rasikkiranga. Aana Manushan

thanniela irundha verukkuranga. Enna ulagam ithu..By full

mappil romba feel panni yosipor sangam!

***

"Un Kural" BRITTANIA
"Un Subaavam" GOOD DAY
"Un Manasu "LITTLE HEART
"Un Nadai "TIGER"
Un Face"SUN FEAST"
Mothathil Nee Oru"PISKOTHU"

***

Kavidai: Kannukkul Nee Iruppathal Aluvatharku kooda

Manamillai, Yaen theriyuma? Nee kulippatharku

Payappaduvai endru dhaan..

***

"Antha Ponnu Romba Olukkamaana Ponna irukkalam,

Athukkaga Cooker Visil Adicha Kooda Seruppa Kalatti

Kaatturathu Konjam Kuda Nallaa illa....

***

Maadu pola irukum sinna mirugam ethu


kannrukutti

***

Son: dad my stomach is paining!
Dad: that is bcoz yur stomach is empty.
son: oh! now i understand why you always has headache dad!
dad: ???

***

In a bottle there are 10 fishes ...
1 is taken out .. and the water level increases ... how ????
think....







other 9 fishes are crying .

***

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Tamil sms collection 26


Neril than pesa mudiyavillai
Kanavodu pesalam endral,
Un ninaivugal ennai thoonga viduvathillai...

***

Anbin aalam evvalavu enbathu
Pirivin pothu than unara mudiyum...

Athai unarukiren un kural katkatha pothu....

***

"MOUNAM" - enbathan artham...
1.Inbamana nerangalil mounam "Sammadham"
2.Unmayana vargal piriyum podhu mounam "Thunbam"
3.Kaadhalil mounam "Chithravadhai"
4.Tholviyil mounam "Porumai"
5.Vettriyil mounam "Adakkam"
6.Irudhiyil mounam "Maranam"

***

Natpu enbathu
Idhayam Pola...
Namakku theriyamal
Namakkaga thudikum...
Ungalai Pola...!

***

Urakkam enbathu kadavul kodutha varam.
Yenendral oruvan thongum pothuthan anaithu

kastangalaiyum maranthu urangukinraan...
So enjoy sleeping...

***

Innoru piravi pirakka povathillai...
Ippiraviyil kidaitha unnai piriya povathillai...
I Will Never Miss U My Dear Friend...

***

Mugathai vida uyir alagu...
Uyirai vida manasu alagu...
Manasai vida un uravu alagu...
Un uravai vida indha ulagil yadhu alagu...

***

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Tamil sms collection 25


Thudikka mattumae therintha en Idhayathirku
Thavikkavum katru koduthathu un ANBU mattumae....

***

Unnai Marantha idhayathai Ninaithu Kondu,
Unnai Unmaiyaga Nesikkum idhayathai izhanthu Vidathe...!

***

Vaalkai pidikkavillai endral tharkolai seithukol.
Aanal,
Tharkolai seithukollum alavirku thairiyam irunthal
Vaalnthu Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar....

***

Poga vendiya naalil poga manamillai
Poga mudiyatha pothu manam poga thudikkinrathu...
" School " in loving memories of school life.

***

Kannil kanda pennai yellam nesippathai vida
Unnai karuvaraiyil sumantha thaiyai nesi
Unnaium oru pen nesippal...

***


En kankalil mattum alla
En Kanavil mattum alla
En ninaivil mattum alla
En manthil mattum alla
En uyirilum neeye irukkirai...

***

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Tamil sms collection 24


Unnodu pesa oru nimidam kidaithal pothum
Kannodu irukkum kanneer mattumalla
Ennodu irukkum Kavalaigalum Maranthu pogum...

***

"Arukil erunthu parkkum sugathi vida"...
"Manathil ninithu parkkum sugame inbam"…
So everytime am think of u…
Good evening

***

Piriyamal irupathu natpu illai
Pirinthum maravamal irupathey
Unmaiyana Natpuuuuu!
I will never forget u my dear Friend...

***

Anbu+Nabikai=AMMA
Bayam+Pasam=APPA
Vilaiyatu+Uthavi=BROTHER & SISTER
Kastam+Istam=LOVER
Above all+Life=FRIEND(Specially You)

***

Unmai solla Kangal
Poi solla Pengal
Athai namba Aangal
Unmai sonna Kangalo
Sirai araiyil
Poi sonna pengalo Manavaraiyil
Nambiya Aangalo Kallaraiyil....

***

"Ithayaththai Irumbaga thaan Vaithu irunthen… Yarukku

Theriyum Aval Gaanthamaga Iruppal yendru...!

***

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Tamil Mokkai SMS Collection 29


Bayam than Tholvikku Mukkiya Kaaranam..!
Athanala, Inimel Kannaadi Munnaadi Pogaathinga..!

***

!-----!-----
! '.0
! /!\
! LL
!
!
Pavam nallathan iruntharu
Vettaikaran Paatu ketathuku apuram
ippadi oru mudivu eduthutar....

***

Kavithai:
Unnai thottu sendra thendral
En kathil vanthu sonnathu....




Innum un friend Kulikkavillai endru...

***

Manithanin kanneerukku karanam
Kathalum Natpum mattummalla....





Vengayamum, Pachamilakayum Kudathan...

***

What is the chemical name of dog?
Answer: sodium iodide ( Na+ i ) = Nai........

***

Un natpu kidaikkm endru therinthurunthal Pirakkumpothu

kuda "azuthu irukkamaten"

Yena nee avalo comedy piece
Sathiyama unakku substitute-a illai...

***

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Tamil Mokkai SMS Collection 28


Super star dont like IDLY. he only likes DOSAI .. why?

????
????









Bcoz Idly Koottama Vegum. Aannaa Dosai Single'la

dhaan vegum!

***

One day American Engineer came 2 India.





& went 2 America.

Nee un velaiya paru
Yaar vantha namakkena...

***

Teacher> Vaai mai Endral enna?
Student> vaai mai endrall Lipstick ...
Teacher> ???

***

Pichchaikari Girl friend ah venuma???
Call now 9940....






Goiyala...Pichchakarinu sollium vidamatenguriye...

***

A fr Apple
B fr Big apple
C fr Chinna Apple
D fr Double apple
E fr Ennoru apple
F fr First sonnen la antha apple

By
LKG padipaaligal

***

Icecream sapidakuda payama irukku
Yean theriyuma??

En idhayathil irukkum unakku
Kulirumae yendruthan....!
by
Icecream vanga kasu illamal
Ice vaippor Sangam...

***


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Tamil Mokkai SMS Collection 27


Ungal peyarai kooda naan ezhudhuvathu illai,
Yean theriyuma???
Pena munai unnai kuthumae endru...
By Spelling theriyamal samalippor sangam...

***

Loosu
Crack
Mental
Monkey
Kuttysathan
Pisasu
evalo thittinalum
buttona press panikite iruka
Nee romba Nallavanthan...

***

Yesterday a girl asked autograph to me..
i got confused n just signed my name...

Suddenly she got shock n asked me ........??



??



??




??



??




??



??




"Appo neenga Suriya illayaa??"
silly girl.....lolz...

***

Thanni(Water)

Thanni

Thanni

Thanni

Thanni

Thanni

Thanni
Enna onnumae puriyalaiya
Ithukku perthan thanni Kaatrathu...

***

What is the difference between a terrorist and a wife?


Answer:You can negotiate with the terrorist

***

Nan anuppum sms oru roja malar
Athu malarvathu unakkaga
manam vesuvathum unakkaga
Antha roja vadamal irukka

Unga cellku daily thanni uthunga.

***

Chicken Kuniya is again Spreading.
So,
Chicken sapidum pothu yarum kuniya vendam.
Apidiye thooki labakkunu Pottu sapidunga...

***



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New Year SMS Collection 4



Oh my Dear,
Forget ur Fear,
Let all ur Dreams be Clear,
Never put Tear,
Please Hear,
I want to tell one thing in ur Ear
Wishing u a very Happy New Year 2010...

***

Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don't get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a "BRAND NEW YEAR".
*HAPPY NEW YEAR*

***

You know God arrange for you..
12 Months of Love,
52 Weeks Non Stop Fun,
& 365 days of Happiness.
So when you Mixed them all..
You will found a Very Happy Year! &
I think it's 2010 My Dear

***

With all the Rose's Perfume & with all the lights in the world & with all the children's Smiles...I Wish U that ur all dreams comes True..*HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010*

***

Memorable moment r celebrate together,
U r my best friend for now & forever,
Make me Miss U even more this New Year,
Hope this 2010 bring Happiness for you Dear.

***

Throughout the Coming Year may your life be filled with little celebration of Happiness...Wishes you a Bright, Happy and Prosperous New Year 2010 with God Bless.

***

Like birds, let us, leave behind what we don't need to carry...
GRUDGES SADNESS PAIN FEAR and REGRETS.
Life is beautiful,Enjoy it. HAPPY NEW YEAR

***

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New Year SMS Collection 3


Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Happy New Year.

***

A Relaxed Mind,
A Peaceful Soul,
A Joyful Spirit,
A Healthy Body &
Heart full of Love..
All these are my Prayers for You..
Wish u a Happy New Year.

***

New is the year,
new are the hopes and the aspirations,
new is the resolution
and
new are the spirits.
Have a promising and fulfilling New Year.

***

Wish You A...Great, Prosperous, Blissful, Healthy, Bright, Delightful, Mind Blowing, Energetic, Terrific & Extremely ...HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010.

***

Before the golden sun sets,
2009’s calendar is destroyed, and
mobile networks get jammed,
I wish in 2010 every moment is enjoyed.
Happy New Year.

***

In Year 2010 may God...would be your Best Friend,
He Loves you Deeper, always Bless on You ,
God Always Guide You & Carry you...Happy New Year

***

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Height of Tried

Height of Lazyness










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This is What I can wait....

This is what I can wait upto








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Upcoming Cars for 2010















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Amazing Rocks






























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